I’ve recently embarked on (yet another) health kick. By recently I mean I’ve been to the gym twice in the past 4 days.
I’ve been a member of or had regular access to a gym off and on since I was about 21. In those nine years my belly has gotten bigger and bigger. I’ve belonged to the local gym for about a year now but in the last three months I’ve been twice. And even when I was going more regularly I wouldn’t really call what I did working out so much as showing up. I’d spend about 15-20 minutes there pretending to work out before decided it was time to go home and eat cheese. I might as well have been throwing that £30 in the bin every month.
I met with a trainer last week to design the program I’ll follow at the gym. All of the cardio and weight machines use an electronic key that holds your program and tells you what machines to use, how many sets/reps to do, and how much to lift. I really need this kind of structure because of aforementioned lack of discipline. Eventually I’ll move to using free weights as I understand there is only so much progress you can make with the machines but for now I like having the key that tells me what to do and automatically tracks my progress.
My program alternates between cardio (35 minutes) and weightlifting (30 minutes) with the primary goal being to burn fat. Eventually I’d like to “get big” but for now I want to focus on making my gut disappear. My weightlifting focuses on my arms, chest, and back. I commute in to London for work, which involves about an hour of walking every day so I’m not too worried about my legs. I also find that my legs are very responsive to exercise/toning. If I did actual weightlifting with them I’d look like one of those crazy speed skaters who look like little heads on top of enormous thighs and calves zipping around on ice skates.
In terms of my diet I’ve been counting calories. Not religiously but enough that I have a general idea of how much I’m taking in. During the week I’m usually pretty good in terms of number of calories. I might not always eat the healthiest foods but my calories aren’t too high. However, that all goes out the window on weekends, starting on Thirsty Thursdays. Alcohol, especially pints of lager, are where I fall down (literally!) so I’ve been trying to switch to vodka and soda, which I know sounds like an alcoholic saying they are switching from gin to wine, but hey, I’m just being realistic. I like to think of it as dietary harm reduction.
I’m excited about this new program; I’d forgotten what actual working out felt like. I won’t lie, I mostly dread it beforehand and struggle when I first start but after the workout I feel fucking amazing. I especially like ab exercises because my abdominal muscles are basically entirely atrophied so they get really sore and it feels like I’ve accomplished something. For a split second I imagine what it feels like to have a six pack… and then I look down and realize I can’t see my penis in the shower. Jokes! I don’t have a shower in my flat, just a bath.
I’ve heard that talking about workouts and diets in public helps you stick with the program because the fear of the shame of people knowing you have given up will encourage you to keep going. So be sure to remind me what a worthless piece of shit I am if I don’t mention anything about the gym in the next few weeks!
Current weight: 86.7kg