Apologies In Advance For All The Crap

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Lately I’ve been trying to write more and get over the usual excuses: I don’t have time, I don’t have anything to write, my writing is crap, et cetera.  Part of my motivation was this post from Seth Godin on writer’s block:

Writer’s block isn’t hard to cure.

 

Just write poorly. Continue to write poorly, in public, until you can write better.

 

…

 

If you know you have to write something every single day, even a paragraph, you will improve your writing. If you’re concerned with quality, of course, then not writing is not a problem, because zero is perfect and without defects. Shipping nothing is safe.

 

The second best thing to zero is something better than bad. So if you know you have write tomorrow, your brain will start working on something better than bad. And then you’ll inevitably redefine bad and tomorrow will be better than that. And on and on.

 

Write like you talk. Often.

 

And also something Ira Glass from This American Life says in this video about the fear of sucking which is basically that people who want to create are often put off of it because their own good taste makes them recognize their early efforts as crap. The only way to move forward is to practice, practice, practice until the stuff you are creating is no longer crap.  So that’s what I’m going to try to do.  But in the meantime, until I reach that point where this blog is not a shit factory, I do sincerely apologize!

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212 by Azealia Banks

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This hot little number, 212 by Azealia Banks, was Nick Grimshaw’s record of the week last week and I’ve had it one repeat ever since.  OK that doesn’t sound like long but I have been listening to it at least half dozen times every day since I first heard it.

And what’s not to love? It’s got an adorable MC, catchy beats, and filthy, filthy lyrics.  Watching Azaelia rap is like watching a kitten do crystal meth: the juxtaposition of cuteness and hardcore is just magical!

Some of my favourite lyrics:

  • “I wanna kick it wit your bitch that come from Parisian…. Now she wanna lick my plum in the evenin, and fit that tongue tongue so deep in”
  • “I’m a rude bitch, nigga, what are you made of?”
  • “I’ma ruin you, cunt”
  • “What’s your dick like, homie, what are you into?”

And those are just some of the ones I can make out from listening! She had the lyrics posted on her Facebook page but they got deleted when she blew up last week and had her regular profile converted into an artists’ fan page.

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Goodbye Smartphone

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I managed to lose my phone on Saturday night after a very long day of drinking and mercilessly hitting on straight men. I’m pretty sure I left it in a taxi but, to be honest, it wouldn’t surprise me if I threw it in the woods, fed it to a dog, or offered it as a dowry to one of my man-victims.

On Sunday I felt like a limb was missing. You know how people who lose a leg sometimes forget they are missing or still have sensation in their missing toes? I was the same way. I kept feeling it vibrating in my pocket or reaching for it to check Twitter.  I rarely talk on the phone but on Sunday I couldn’t stop thinking about phone calls I needed to make.  It’s been two days now and that feeling is pretty much gone.  It does drive me a little bit crazy that I can’t play Words with Friends on the train though.  The insurance claim is going to take awhile to process but I’m actually looking forward to being unable to check Twitter and Facebook every 20 minutes.

The process of reporting it lost and having it replaced through my phone insurance was tedious as usual but did have a bright spot. The gentleman on the phone at the insurance company asked how I lost it and I got a bit awkward because I didn’t really want to say, well after 10 hours of drinking on Saturday I am told I got into a taxi with some friends, woke up on their living room floor, and when I woke up my phone was gone! I kept it short and sweet and said I had been in a taxi on Saturday night and the next day I couldn’t find my phone.  This guy was a pro though and said “OK, so you were out on Saturday night with friends and your phone was in your pocket and you woke up the next day and it was gone.”  Yeah, sure, phone was in my pocket. Or balanced on my head or up my rear for all I know, but yeah, it’s gone now.  Basically he added the details that take it from being “I was drunk and I’m not really sure what happened to it” to “I really think it fell out of my pocket in the taxi and let’s not mention the excessive amounts of alcohol that were involved”.

It’s all sorted now. I’ve put a block on my phone, ordered a new SIM card, filed a report with the police, and am just waiting for the claim form to come in the post. I figured I’d have to pay £100 or more since I have the HTC Desire HD but I only have to pay £25 – though I might be getting some kind of bullshit refurbished model.  I’m not sure if this is to do with insurance being through my bank rather than Vodafone or if insurance companies in the UK don’t dick you over quite as bad about these things.  Sadly, when they told me the fee would be so little the first thing I thought was, Sweet, I can afford to get trollied again next weekend!!

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New TV: Terra Nova

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I spent Hangover Sunday catching up on more new Fall TV, including Terra Nova, which I think is going to be my favourite new program this season.

The premise of the show is that by the year 2149 the planet is dying due to overpopulation, pollution, and lack of resources. Scientists discover a “fracture in time” that allows them send people back in time to create a colony on a then-pristine Earth in the late Cretaceous period.  The show follows John and Elisabeth Shannon who were naughty rule breakers and had a third child (the limit in the future is two), which meant John got sent to the pokey. Within about 20 minutes John has escaped from a maximum security prison (that is “impossible” to escape from), reunited with his family, and traveled back in time. MacGyver, eat your fucking heart out.

One of the highlights of the show for me were the smaller scientific details they threw in. For example, in the future there is barely any fruit or non-processed foods so people’s bodies have stopped producing the enzymes necessary to break them down properly so new arrivals to Terra Nova have to drink a special green “milkshake” for the first few days to introduce the enzymes into their system.  They’ve also made the moon much larger because 85 millions years ago it was closer to the planet that is today. To be honest, both of these could be complete nonsense but I like that it’s mainstream show that isn’t afraid to talk about science, especially considering it’s on Fox.

Terra Nova is definitely going to play on a lot of political themes, hopefully with more success than the reboot of V, which I found to be a bit heavy-handed.  Earth, or at least the US, in 2149 has a very authoritarian feel.  There was lots of 1984-esque propaganda about overpopulation and the whole Terra Nova program seems to be run in a large part by the military. And the civilians at Terra Nova camp itself seem to think of themselves as a utopia despite the fact that it’s basically a police state.  At first Commander Taylor comes across as tough but fair but by the end of the episode you get the distinct feeling that he is capable of some fucked up shit in the name of protecting his vision for Terra Nova.

Outside of Jason O’Meara, the show is a bit light on the man candy factor.  The son is sorta cute (he’s 20 in real life!) in that he looks like Justin Chatwin’s younger brother but I cannot be dealing with the moody teenager routine for long.  The thing is, he’s 20 in real life and plays a 17 year old, fair enough, but  the actress who plays his love interest Skye is 26 but meant to be, what, 16? 17?  She’s a pretty girl but she ain’t go no business playing a teenager.  The other guy is Guzman, who is one of the security guys. I kept thinking it was  Jon Bernthal from The Walking Dead but now that I’m comparing pictures of them I can’t decide if they do look alike or if I’m just a big ‘ol racist who can’t distinguish men with slightly dark/olive complexions.

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Tom Hardy: Glory Be to God

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Tom HardyI was first introduced to Tom Hardy in the film Inception.  Well, technically it was in Star Trek: Nemesis but he’s a creepy little bald man in that one and nobody had ever heard of him back then.  Anyway, I think we can all agree that in Inception he is one hot piece of ass.  Not that Leonardo DiCaprio has ever been my thing but Tom makes him look like a retarded, squinty goblin in that film.

Tom Hardy is so hot that even a straight mate of mine commented, “Phwar! I’d let Tom Hardy stick it wherever he wanted.”  So would I, my friend, so would I.

 

What makes Mr. Hardy so hot? Mostly it’s the lips. He’s also got a certain swagger (btw,Tom Hardy Chery Lloyd? Fuck you for ruining that word). But yeah, he’s got that braggadocio on screen that is so very sexy.  Alas, as with most actors, the hotness of his personality doesn’t really come through off-screen.  I saw him on Chatty Man and remembered, oh right, he’s an actor, all shy and thinks he’s deep because he’s fairly observant about people’s behaviour, motivations, etc. You just want to put your finger on his lips (do I!) and say “Hush now, just stand there and smolder”.

Aside from those lips though his facial features by themselves aren’t all that special.  In photos he’s a good looking guy but I find myself confused because the full hotness just isn’t there.  And that hair. That god awful hair.  And yet, oncscreen… “quiver” I believe is the best word to describe my reaction.

Oh yeah, also, he gets his knob out, like, all the time.

Gerard Butler and Tom Hardy

Hello Threesome!

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Turn Me On: 28 September 2011

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Here’s a few things that have entertained/delighted/intrigued me today:

  • “Dear Greece, You’ll get your weather back when you’ve paid your bills. Lots of love, The UK” (via @therandombloke… possibly, lots of people seem to be taking credit or posting variations)
  • Oh yeah, Amazon made a product announcement today but until it comes to the UK and gets a Marvel comic books app, I’m not that impressed. Also: goodbye magazine industry.
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New TV: Person of Interest

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Finch and Reese from Person of Interest

Person of Interest is a new CBS crime drama starring Jesus, Ben Linus, and Taraji P. Henson that premiered last week.  It’s basically Eagle Eye meets Bourne Identity. Except the plot is really nothing like either of those.   Minor spoilers ahead.

The show is about Finch (Michael Emerson), a mysterious billionaire, and John Reese (James Caviezel), a former CIA agent, who get together to prevent violent crimes.  Finch built this magical computer program that scans the internet, government databases, CCTV cameras, GPS transponders, etc to predict crimes before they happen.  He then employs Reese to track these people down and prevent the crimes from happening.

We’re supposed to be impressed with how powerful this program is and how it predicts the future but if you ask me it’s a piece of shit.  It doesn’t identify the criminals but just someone who is going to be involved in a violent crime, whether they be the killer or the victim… or even just a fucking witness!  And, the only information the program provides is a social security number. I’m pretty confident that me and Google could sit down together for an hour and generate a more useful list.

Aside from the somewhat silly premise the show could be pretty good if a bit predictable in terms of the twists and problems that arise from the limitations of the magic computer. Reese is a complete bad ass a la Jason Bourne so there’s lots of cool MacGuyver-y stuff involving explosions, guns, and hand-to-hand combat. I also really liked Taraj P. Henson’s character even though she didn’t have much to do in the pilot. Probably because I relate to strong black women.

The shots of the surveillance and information gathering suggest to me that they are going to play with the idea of this computer program being self-aware or at least developing in that direction, which could be interesting (or awful). Also, James Caviezel is kinda hot, so there’s that.

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Good luck, America

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This is Pam Olsen, co-chair of Rick Perry’s Florida Presidency 5 leadership team.  Someone who may one day be President of the United States chose her (or more likely someone on his campaign staff I’m sure) to help run his campaign in Florida.  I know that doesn’t mean they are 100% in agreement on all views and beliefs, but COME ON! This woman is insane. Not like, “man that party last night was insane!” but like, “an invisible man is pissed and he is shaking shit up!”.  She’s also a bad Christian.  I’ve never read the Bible but even I understand that it says that while God is judgmental, people shouldn’t be.  He’s not real but I’ll give him that, He knows better than to trust us to figure out what’s what.

The best part is when she imitates the “denominations” her voices goes high and gets all fey, cuz, you know, those faggy Presbyterians and their tolerance!

/via Towleroad

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